Dec 7, 2011

My Declining Quality of Life Because of Technology

A couple of days ago, my dad came over to my house just as a new gadget arrived at my doorstep. It's a thingermabobber I can attach to my television and stream Netflix without a Wii (which is downstairs) and Pandora and other crap. My dad sat comfortably on my sofa and watched me attach the HDMI cable (which I already had since it didn't come with the cable, of course) to the television and gadget, plugged it in then programmed the gadget via ONE MORE REMOTE and my computer.

When I finished, I stepped back and said to my dad, "Do you remember when you walked over to the television, turned it on, turned a knob and chose the channel (out of 6 options) and sat down to watch TV?" That was it.

He told me he remembered when his parents first bought a radio that was the size of my big leather chair. They turned it on for the first time and heard President Franklin D. Roosevelt announcing the bombing of Pearl Harbor and calling it "a day that will live in infamy." My six year old father went and hid under the table. His dad became one of the men checking for lights showing through the blackout curtains at night, most likely saving the town of Weston, Idaho (population 425, including cattle) from the Japanese obliterating it.

Ironic that I write this on the 70th anniversary of that day and completely coincidental.

Still, this conversation replayed itself this morning as I was looking for the Ipod charger. I have become a slave to my gadgets and spend an inordinate amount of time serving them. Here are my frustrations that take up my time:

  1. Looking for chargers. Every camera in our home requires a different charger. For reasons unknown to me, they each disappear when that particular battery dies. They also show up when another camera is needed to be charged.
  2. Looking for chargers, Part II: Ipod and Kindle. Never did find the Ipod charger. Ordered new Kindle charger from Amazon. When it arrived, I found another charger. Coincidentally, I ordered a new charger for my camera. When it showed up, so did my old charger.
  3. While I have been typing this, my son has been asking me to turn on Netflix. We tracked down three of the four remotes to accomplish this and I have been fiddling with the correct settings for ten minutes. Can someone please pass the VHS tape and player? Usually, I can figure that one out. Until then, I have four remotes sitting in the cracks of the sofas. 
  4. My husband's big pet peeve and I admit we have a problem with this. The telephone rings and none of the cordless phones are in their cradle. I have crawled under daughter's beds, run around the house in a panic, all in an effort to find one telephone. I have seriously considered buying an old corded phone with a very long cord. In our first house, the cord was so long and the house was so small, we could take it into every room upstairs and even downstairs to half the rooms.
  5. My GPS in the van lacks some of the newer roads. My "newer", I mean the ones built in the last 5 years. Also, my internal GPS and good sense is better than the GPS in my van which, last year as I drove to my uncle's funeral, it told me to turn where there was no road, recalculated then told me to turn on a dirt road. I was so stupid to do what it said. I got to the funeral on time but the car looked worse for the wear.
  6. My texting skills are abysmal. I even have a keyboard. It would be quicker to make the telephone call rather than texting something that, when automatically completed, reads sexually and inappropriately. Confusing to my children. Exciting for my husband.
  7. So I'm supposed to put my music onto an Ipod or MP3 player. No idea how to do it. I exercise without music. It's not nearly as much fun.
  8. Back to my new gadget - I had set it to Pandora before I turned off the TV. My son turned on the TV a few hours later and was greeted with the current artist's album cover; a woman in red underwear with a clear shot down her bra. He was disturbed. He's afraid he might have looked twice. Now he believes he's going to Hell. May have something to do with the way I reacted when he showed me. I have said, "Whatthehell?"
  9. My cell phone contract is up this month. I sat in a conference next to my boss for 7 and half hours yesterday. I don't want to turn off my phone in case my kids need me but T-Mobile called me SIX TIMES in TWO HOURS to offer me a new smart phone with a new contract.
I'm certain there are more ways technology has ruined my life but I have to return to it. The telephone keeps ringing and I keep looking for it. I did find the Ipod charger. And I feel compelled to check my email.


CountessLaurie said...

We have a small house. Built in 1769, about 230 years before McMansions. We had three cordless phone extensions. One died, one disappeared. I have changed my answering machine message to: "Hi, we can't find our phone right now, so leave us a message." About 70% of the time, it's true.

I feel your pain, lovey. I wanna bring back rotary phones, but am told they won't work with my cable phone... dagnabit.

Kim said...

We dumped the cordless phones for three corded ones. Now I know where they are, at all times.

Did you buy a Roku box? Once you figure it out, let me know how you like it, okay?

Tiffany said...

Okay, two solutions for you here. #1: I'm sure any of your children could put music on your iPod. If not them then the neighbor children. Seriously. Some kid off the street!
#2: Universal remote. Ours honestly is smarter than I am. I point it at the TV and push the button that says "Watch TV" and it turns on the 8 things necessary to watch TV like a man, since that seems to be important around here... :)

Julie said...

I am soooooooooo glad your dad saved Weston from certain destruction for both our sakes! That Tony LaPray with the big brown eyes totally rocks!

mCat said...

You are SO ahead of me. I can't figure out the DVR and then once a show is recorded, I can't figure out how to watch it. I got the ipod thing down, but that is about it. I've even had my YW come over to help me with the freaking tv and dvr player..... pathetic I am