Nov 29, 2011

Relatives and Holidays

I'm addicted to "The Middle." It's a sitcom on Wednesday nights where a middle age couple in a middle income socio-economic status in the middle of the country are living ordinary lives. By ordinary, I mean my life. I swear there are cameras in my house recording my quirky self and quirky family.

Honestly, it just makes me feel not quite so weird.

Hopefully, in comparison, my blog makes you feel better about yourself, too.

Some members of my family read my blog. This makes me very careful about what I post. Some family members believe that my blog, like her little sister, is not worth her time or attention and would not deign to validate the blog nor her sister's opinion or, really, reason for living.

This is not a pity party or a gripe where I need validation. This is simply an introduction to what we will refer to in years gone by as the Great Gravy Debacle of '11.

Also, if you happen to catch the Thanksgiving "Middle" you'll understand. And if you did not but have an older sister, you'll understand. If, perchance, you believe you know the persons mentioned in this story (a story I completely made up, of course), let's not bring their attention to my blog.

I don't want to get beat up.

Where's the Gravy?

Setting: Thanksgiving Dinner. Nancy is getting a plate of food for her 6 year old son. 

Suzy, where's the gravy?

I don't know. It was just here.

I notice a bowl of nice turkey gravy on another counter. Never mind. It's over here.

You can't have that gravy! First you have to eat the gravy in the other thingie.

Where's the other gravy?

I don't know. You'll have to find it then you can have gravy. She smirked then.

I don't think so. I'll just have some of THIS gravy.

She snatches up the bowl of gravy and hugs it to her chest. No! You can't have this gravy! Find the other gravy!

Fine. I'll go without gravy. I walk past her and give the plate to Jaxon. Without gravy.

Now Suzy is alarmed and raises her voice. Everybody! Stop what you are doing right now! Look for a small container of gravy!

Dave enters the arena and picks up the bowl of gravy Suzy has put down. Here's the gravy. Everybody keep eating!

No! Dave! We have to find the other gravy! We can't eat that gravy until the other gravy is gone!

Kelsey opens the microwave and points. You mean THIS gravy?

Yes! That is the gravy. Everybody pour from THIS gravy. Jene's eyes are permanently spazzing while she is rolling them.

Suzy pours lumpy, gloppy gravy on Alyssa's potatoes. It looks disgusting and it goes everywhere. Where's another gravy boat? Mom?! Where's your gravy boat. I need it. Yeah, Suzy. It's the gravy boat. Not the gravy.

My hairless, cancer ridden mother starts to get up. Mom! Don't get up! Don't worry about it. It's just gravy! (That was me).

And THAT is the Gravy Debacle of '11.

Any debacles on your end?


CountessLaurie said...

Some deep rooted gravy issues there :-) Unfortunately, we are all more normal than we think! I am sorry you missed out on the gravy...

Tonia said...

Of course not, with four kids, two babies, an aunt and uncle, and a new house still completely in boxes our Thanksgiving was a picture of social etiquette and harmoney ;)

Tiffany said...

I'm totally confused. Why was the gravy in the microwave so important? Why couldn't you just use the gravy boat? How is your mom doing? Any tears this week? I made it through the ward Christmas party with nary a one. Dead inside and LOVING it!