Sep 14, 2011

Fashion Vs. Function

I have a quandary about fashion and function. I'm starting to understand why women wear clothes from their era instead of keeping more up to date clothing. It's not the fit. I've already proved that 110 lbs. at age 18 and 40 are both a size 6 for me. But 18 doesn't have a muffin top.

So my grandmother always bought her clothes at a store called Pikettes. It basically specialized in old lady clothes. That would be the double knit polyester colored pants with a seam down the front and a button-down, long-sleeve, polyester, flowered top that coordinated with said double knit pants. I'd not be caught dead in those clothes except for two occasions. 1) To work at McDonald's, although the shirt was the same color as the pants so not comfortable and 2) To please my grandmother. When my grandmother came to visit one time, she decided to gift me a pair of those polyester pants in pink. She insisted I try them on and I certainly was well-mannered enough to not disappoint an old lady. Diminutive in size, her waist was still larger than mine and the pants hung on my hips with the hem hitting about six inches above the ankle. She declared them perfect and insisted I wear them. I tried telling her my sister, Joey, would look much better in them and they'd fit her better, too. Joey was biting back the laughter. Grandma wouldn't bite. They were all mine.

On the other extreme, a woman needs to know what her body looks like. Midriffs were huge about 15 years ago. Admittedly, my midriff was acceptable during part of the time period. Meaning I didn't have a muffin top but I had gone through one pregnancy and had stretch marks. I saw a woman at the grocery store who had no concept of her own body and bared her belly with bright red stretch marks. Admirable to be that confident. Or sad to be that unaware.

My best friend from college is a belly dancer. She has fantastic midsection and lives in Hawaii in a 2 piece swimming suit. She tells me to come and see her and bring a bikini. Bwah! Yet another example of ignorance, bless her heart. She's self-aware. She has washboard abs. She is simply under the false assumption that I must have them, too. I wear a one piece tank suit with swimming shorts. No need to offend other beach combers.

Muffin-top or not (yes), I am glad the waist dropped on pants. I love having my pants hit me below the belly button. Of course, then there is the delicate balance of low waisted but not too low waisted - muffin top, remember. But now the waists are climbing up again. I simply can not bear to think about returning to restrictive fashion of wearing pants up to my rib cage. Not only that, my ribs have spread from carrying children. I'll be going a size bigger just for that adjustment.

But the bigger picture here is that I am willing to halt fashion time and find my own little Pikettes that specializes in semi-low riding pants and long t-shirts. I want to be a GAP ad for the next 40 years. But not a GAP ad that changes with the trends. The ads from two years ago. Could you imagine the horror of my grandchild when I hand her some used khakis and a t-shirt and tell her to try them on? Hopefully, she'll at least be polite enough to humor an old lady. If she laughs at me, I'll spank her mother.

Does Dr. Sholl's go with GAP?

1 comment:

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Love the video!

I say bring on the floods and the granny panties and embrace senility with the rest of us!