May 2, 2011

Signs I Might be Sleep Deprived

  1. Boy walks into my office and announces he wants to register for school and tells me his name. I recognize his last name and ask if he was a previous student.  No, he informs me, but his sister was.  He pulls out a picture of the two of them as kids sitting with their dad. His dad is FINE, I think.  "He's single, too," the boy answers. Oh. My. Gosh. I said it out loud.
  2. Make a phone call to a parent to discuss her daughter's attendance. She describes the family dynamics at this time. Her husband has terminal cancer and I lose my professional detachment. I end up trying to swallow the sobs. It's the ugly kind of cry.
  3. While at school, run into a woman that works with my sister, also a school counselor. Grab my phone and show her a picture of the baby she had two weeks ago. He's still covered in slime and cute as a button. I'm a proud aunt. Next year's assistant principal is standing nearby and peeking over shoulder. Hand telephone to him to see. Realize the image is mostly baby Easton but a little bit of my sister's boob. Make screeching sound and hit my soon-to-be boss's hand whereas he drops my phone, the back pops off and the battery pops out. He looks up at me, stunned. "Tourette's!" I yell.
  4. Interim assistant principal announces that some important people from the district are coming to school and we should be on our best behavior.  "Go home," she whispers in my ear.

11 comments:

Lin said...

lmao...this is all super hilarious but you should totally get some rest.

CountessLaurie said...

Tourettes!! Too funny. You crack me up.

P.s. I love that the boy pops in with "He's single..." instead of looking at you horrified...

EmptyNester said...

I'm sorry you're sleep deprived but Bwahahahahahahahaha! That was too funny!

M said...

I'm stealing the Tourette's thing. TOO funny!

Lo said...

OH....just fantastic.....you ARE funny.....the rest of us just try.

Anne said...

Man, I really miss you some days!

Klin said...

This just made my whole day!

Thank you. Thank you very much!

Abby said...

hahah this was hilarious to read! I loved it!

Tonia said...

That first one made me laugh out loud; and I'm pretty sure my ancestoral heritage is also lunacy (been out of touch so I got to read several posts at once)

Rachel said...

This totally made my day. Made me feel like I'm not the only one out there playing catch with someone's masectomy prothesis. Oh whoops.

Get some rest!

Steph said...

LOL love # 4!!!