May 11, 2011

Prom Mom

"Not to be rude or anything," Rachel said to my daughter a week before prom, "but have you warned Eric about your mom?"

She spent the next 7 days begging me to act normal.

Ideas for freaking out a prom date:

  1. Find Grandma's old house dress. Secure pillows beneath it. Hairnet. Big glasses. Decorate house with doilies and hang afghan over sofa backs.
  2. Go all Greg Brady on him.  Hang beads in doorways, install disco lights and lava lamps. Dress in tie dye and bell bottoms. 'Fro hair. Tell him about Woodstock then stop, midsentence, and stare off in the distance like on a "trip."
  3. Pioneer with bonnet. Discuss ancestors at length. Especially the ones who died a gruesome death coming across the plains. Show pictures of Peg Leg Whitney.
  4. Same as above but include three "sister wives" to greet date in same garb.
  5. Go Cougar route - tight sweater with deep V-neck, push-up bra to add cleavage, rat hair, short leopard print skirt, high heels. Pop gum gratuitously. Keep touching his arm and call him "Sugar."
  6. No special dress, just lead him into the kitchen where the dad is polishing his new shotgun. Introduce to huntin' dog, Sunday. Tell him her name is Lucifer.
Any more ideas?

13 comments:

Making It Work Mom said...

Oh she looks beautiful. I love prom pictures. Personally i think the Cougar one would send him running out the front door to "wait in the car". Great tips for my future years!

Gina said...

I love the sister wives one! Just let me know when and where and I'll be there by your side. Which outfit do I need to dress up in?!

EmptyNester said...

Unfortunately our girls and their friends were so used to our shenanigans that they were never embarrassed. We always tried though!

Stacy Uncorked said...

She and the dress are gorgeous! And I'm giggling over your list - I'm saving that for when Princess Nagger reaches Prom Age. ;) Hubby's already said he'll run out to Guns R Us to pick up a shotgun when she acquires her first boyfriend. ;)

WW: Alligator Fun

CountessLaurie said...

I don't know what the fuss is about, you seem perfectly normal to me....

Joan said...

She looks darling. What a cute, cute dress.

Keep Your Sunny Side Up said...

Perhaps Scott could just say, "Well, young man, what are your intentions with my daughter?" Not only will she be brought home early, but there will never be a second date!

M-Cat said...

THose are all great ideas but since I had sons, I would have to make them PROMISE to bring their dates to the house so I could see them before they headed off. And if the girl was n a modest dress, I always took the time to thank her for it.

Her green dress is GORGEOUS!

Tonia said...

My mom had an application they had to fill out. It had things like, 'do you plan on serving a mission' and, 'are you an eagle scout'. Then she would ask what time they were bringing me home while my brother cleaned our one and only unused gun.
p.s. LOVE the dress!

Tonia said...

p.s.s. Just clicked on the pic to look at the dress in closer detail. LOVE the necklace too. Just think, I get to go through all that five times. Now, did you make the dress or is Utah stocked with modest, cute, fabulous dresses? Here in Texas they did a prom spread in the paper and my girls pointed out that not one had sleeves.

Anne said...

You forgot the "goth mom" look, complete with black everything, including Black Sabbath screeching in the background.

Jessica said...

My favorite is the cougar one. But mostly because when I first read "cougar" I immediately thought BYU, which made the description all the more funny, and oddly still worked.

June Freaking Cleaver said...

It is a mother's right to embarrass her children...I hope you did us all proud.

I like the gun scenario, except it would rock a bit more if you AND your husband were cleaning firearms at the kitchen table when the date arrived.