My daughter texted me in the middle of the school day.
Her: My period started. Can you come and get me?
Me: Mine, too! We're like twins! *SQUEEE*!
Her: Ha. Ha.
Me: Did you soil yourself?
Her: It's not visible.
Me: Then why do I need to come and get you?
Her: It feels weird.
Me: Welcome to my world.
Me: Where are you?
Her: In the bathroom.
Me: How long have you been there?
Her: 20 minutes.
Me: That's just plain sad.
Her: Can I call Grandma and tell her I'm sick?
Me: No, you can't lie to Grandma.
Jenn: Hey! When are we going to lunch?
Me: I'll be in town in two weeks! Will you be around?
Jenn: We'll be moving out of our house but let's do lunch and call it therapy. HA!
Her: Mom? Are you still there?
Me: Therapy it is! Are you bringing the Klonipin au de toilette?
Her: Why do I need therapy? What are you talking about?
Me: Oops. Sorry. I'll be there in 20 minutes.