Mar 3, 2011

I Don't Vlog

I love the printed word. I love to look at sentence structure and hear the tone I have assigned to the writer. I decide the eloquence of speech when I hear the accent and timbre. I love the sound of certain words inside my head. I roll them around, take them apart, put them back together again. I love to read a word, hear it inside my head, and giggle to myself because the spelling is nothing like the sound. Phlegm. Disgusting when heard, intriguing when seen.

I love to read a good blog post. I enjoy a well written sentence and a cohesive essay. I like to take my time reading interesting sentence structure, intriguing words (sometimes repeating them to myself multiple times), then savoring the after taste when I finish. I also like to determine whether I skim an essay or ingest. This brings me to a trend that some bloggers simply must rethink. Vlogging.

For reasons not understood, some people simply have a gift of writing. Through the organization of their words, feelings and experiences take shape and become personalized. Their articulation brings me to a sudden outburst of giggles, a small sob, a sigh, or simply concern.  I am amazed by the talent in the blogging world.  I know they are intelligent, articulate, and beautiful women.  Then they vlog and my impression is altered.

One of my favorite blogs is written by a woman who is incredibly gifted.  She is also well known.  I am often moved by her writing.  Then she decided to vlog and she is decidedly not articulate in speaking.  I had a difficult time maintaining my original opinion.

I know my writing often takes a circuitous route.  I don't profess to be a fantastic writer.  I do hope, however, that my topic or thesis statement can be ascertained within the first couple of paragraphs.  I know this is not always true, but I generally like to have a theme when I write.  Sometimes I don't and I expect you to skim through, decide I'm full of crap, and click to a different site.  You are not a captive audience.  Hopefully I will write something that is interesting enough to hold your attention for a full minute to reach the end of my thought process.  If I don't, you can leave at any time.

Back to my favorite blogger.  She vlogged.  She sat there and blathered about nothing at all for over two minutes and I still had no clue if she had a cohesive thought.  She cracked inside jokes that I didn't get, talked about the weather, told her audience how wonderful she is and I was already two minutes into a six minute video and completely bored and somewhat befuddled.

I couldn't skim.  I couldn't scan.  I couldn't skip.  And she wasn't interesting.  I yawned and left disappointed.

She is not the first successful blogger to vlog and vlog terribly.  I would fare much worse.  I promise to never, ever vlog to you.  Ever.  Never.  I stutter.  I stammer.  I look stupid.

I will stick to the written word.  Words I can type, see, consider, roll them off my tongue in the privacy of my home, delete, edit, rewrite.  Even as I type, I hear myself whispering the words.  They sound a little stupid.  Yet when I hear them in my head (which is much louder than my whisper, thank goodness), I sound stronger, smarter, and skinnier.

I can sound skinny.  You won't know the difference.  I didn't vlog it.


Dysfunctional Mom said...

I've always hated vlogging, but never really considered why. I think you just nailed it. I have never vlogged but felt vaguely guilty, like I should be vlogging because ya know, everyone's doing it. But maybe I just instinctively know that I'm better off just using my (written) words!
Visiting from MamaKat's.

Heidi Smith Luedtke -- LeadingMama said...

I watched a vlog yesterday and all I could think for the first 2 minutes was "wow, what shameless self-promotion. This guy is full of himself. And he thinks we follow his every move." Maybe vloggers need to tape their piece, then chop off the fist 2 minutes of warm-up ego boosting blather and get to the real substance of the post. Otherwise, I'll hit stop.

June Freaking Cleaver said...

I'd have to buy all sorts of expensive software before I'd vlog - software that would let me hear each word (like you, in my head), and edit with the same amount of care I use for the written word.

Oh, and the camera would have to have miraculous powers to make me skinny, and my background sparkling clean.

So no worries here, you'll be forced to read what I write, if you choose to click on me.

Tonia said...

Ahhh, words. I love how in our heads we can be skinny, witty, flowing....then we go ahead and display someone else entirely to the world. I think the person in our heads in much closer to who we really are.
Too bad about the vlogger. That's like seeing an amazing trailer for a movie and then realizing in watching the movie that you have already seen everything worth seeing in the preview. Sigh.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Vloging is a special gift. I don't have it and it sounds like there are others we missed out of receiving it too.

Anne said...

I, being still in the dark ages, have never heard of vlogging, although the concept is easy enough to figure out. Is this what people who want to be on reality shows do when they can't actually get on a reality show, for whatever reason?

M-Cat said...

"I can sound skinny"

This would be why I REFUSE to vlog.

And, I don't think I could figure it out if I tried : )

Riahli said...

There is no reason for you to ever read what I write. I'll just read what you write. {And I'll never vlog, ever... as in never ever. I didn't even know what you were talking about at first.}

Laura Lynn said...

Haha - I would vlog if I could photoshop myself all gorgeous first!

Heidi said...

I tried one time to listen to a meditation cd with an author who had a lisp. "Repeat after me," so I did and couldn't stop giggling.

smartinmartin said...

Video killed the radio star! Blog on skinny mama. Blog on.